Where is my half??!!

There is supposedly a belief that every one of us are a part of one complete soul, and all through our life we are in a search for that soul mate of ours… the so called better (/bitter??!!) half . I have always believed in this concept. That was till one day one of my friend said “I ‘m better off alone” ….. hmmmm may be that was true. Is it… how could it be ?? I sat thinking and I have never really liked being alone at any time. In fact it’s kind of a phobia for me… does it have a name yet … I googled and yes it does… ‘Monophobia’. But obviously I was not in the extreme cases, because in acute conditions it seems the patient can’t even go to the loo without a companion!!! (huh disgusting .. not me plz) … k k now back to the topic … So I tried to ask myself again. Whenever I happened to spend time alone (sometimes forced upon me or I force it on myself) I get very depressed … it feels strange and helpless. I end up thinking of all the sad moments of life, the people I miss so much and end up crying. And sometimes I get too philosophical and trying to make myself feel better I say that ‘Solitude is bliss’ and more such crap. Beyond a point it gets unbearable for me and I rush back to being in the company of the people and the maddening world. And sometimes even the company of strangers is fine for me!! So I just can’t be alone… and I thought that if I had my found my ‘soul mate’ by now I wouldn’t have even had to face all this. That doesn’t mean that I would expect him to be around me all the time. I would be satisfied by the mere presence somewhere far away. Filling my mind with his thought and feel happy that you are there in his thoughts too!! All these simple pleasures of life are so beautiful. Every one of us definitely needs it and I don’t want anyone to miss all this in life… by fearing about something that may have happened in the past. Each of us are blessed with abundance of love only to share it with your ‘the ONE’. Only then the life is complete!!
So for all those who are lucky enough to have found that special person already… am really happy for you!! And others like me… have hope and keep looking. You never know when you are going to meet them!! Happy searching !!

laksh:)

For me ... for ONLY me

About 6 months back i remember talking with my friend over phone on a particularly emotional day. I had fought with someone and made myself all disappointed and depressed. ( Now when i think there was actually no big problem!! ) I felt very down and lonely all day, not even having anyone to share my feelings with. And i asked him, my voice choking with tears, ... " Can i ever have someone just for me?? .. who will be there with me .. with ONLY me always .. Is it wrong to to even wish for someone like that in my life ??.... "

My friend who was just so helplessly trying to console me said that there will definitely be such a person in my life and it is just that i need to wait. From that time until now there has been countless times that the same question keeps coming back to my mind... every time i am emotionally disturbed i quickly kind of go into a shell and feel very depressed about it. And i keep longing for that ONE who will be there with me always. I don't really mean that this person necessarily has to be one's life partner; it could be anyone - your friend, brother, sister or anyone who will be there for you ... for ONLY you!!

But is this ever possible at all;each of has have our own lives to lead and whether we will have the time to genuinely be with that someone when its needed the most....To all these questions i found the answer in the words of Swami Vivekananda, which my friend told me.

" Unconditional love is like a drop of water in the palm. The longer you hold the palm open and let the drop float free, the longer it stays. The moment you try to cover it up and possess it, its lost. "

So that was the answer - unconditional love!! every time i was looking to be dependent on one person i was being so possessive about them. Did i stop loving them just because they weren't there for me at sometimes... NO definitely not !!
I was so narrow minded and looking for only person when i failed to see that how many people filled that role and cared equally for me as i would have wanted. The love and care of each of these persons is like that precious drop of water in my hands. Every time i had that drop i got too excited and the fear of losing it took over me, so i would try to close my hands to make it mine .. ONLY mine!! But i realised that leaving my hands open has let so many drops collect in my hands increasing my happiness.

Let it remain open ... not just your hands but your heart too... and those tiny drops will come looking for you to fill you with limitless joy !!!

laksh:)

Priceless ... but worth it truly

It happens often that we don't realise the worth of things when they are readily available for us. We are not able to truly value it and understand how precious it might be. It could be for as basic and abstract things like land, water or air. For a transatlantic swimmer who is swimming against the strong currents battling the forceful waves for hours together, the first sight of land gives him the first hint of success. Imagine in the case of a person who is travelling through the desert, where all he can see is miles and miles of stretch of the golden sand; the last drop of water remaining with him that is going to help him survive is priceless !!!

Only in such cases one is able to gauge the worth of the thing which we take for granted. Similarly we need to realise the worth of people around us; without whom our lives would have been very difficult and may be unimaginable too. But we might not give them their due or treat them the way they should have been. And when they are no longer a part of our lives, we suddenly feel the void in our lives. And a feeling or regret engulfs us which makes us feel guilty - "if only i could have told them atleast once how much they meant to me."

i am sure all of us have someone of this kind in our lives... and if you haven't yet told them about how important they are to you, i would sincerely request you to do soon..... before it is too late !!