Full stop.

To know that you don't know is great knowledge - Unknown

Through life we meet so many people, see many places, go through so many different situations, and each of this leaves some mark on us. These experiences teach us so many new things and we keep evolving as we grow. You must be thinking that is how it is for everyone, and so what is new when i am saying it now!!??

Though like all of you i knew it too.. but i just paused to think about it and i was overwhelmed really. All of us learn from these so called experiences of our life... so many things about life like positive thinking, being in control of your emotions, looking at things in different perspective... but how many of us actually do it?? we really want to do it and we might be thinking we are doing it till realty hits us and we fall apart. But life has to move on and so you sit back and think!! But not to brood over mishaps in life, but to learn not to do them again. But this never seems to work out in my life.. i end up doing the same thing all over again, making wrong decisions all the time and regretting it later. It is high time i put a BIG full stop to all this and move on. I thought this is not some conscious thing that one can do. You just can't change yourself overnight but that's actually not true.
Truly if with all your heart you desire and believe the change it takes just a second actually to do it. But of course a lifetime for implementing it. And through that time you keep making improvements to it as your bag of experiences grow larger!!
But it shouldn't be a heavy baggage to carry around.. it must be something you enjoy taking it with you as it is there to help you in times of trouble.

Everything is just a thought away!!


Flipping through...

Ah … finally I successfully completed one year in blogging!!

And I am back after quite a long break. Through this period of about 2 months I have gone through myriad of emotions. Each time I was tempted to post something on it but I restricted myself. Many of my friends wanted me to try something new… to explore new topics. So here it is!!
Recently I spent some time in a book store just browsing (actually whiling away time to rather wait ina boring place) and I happened to chance upon this lovely book, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. I chanced upon the book because it had a very attractive cover and the pages were in tarnished brown giving it a very nice feel. As I glanced through the pages I understood that it is some kind of a self-help book that tries to develop your personality. Oh please… the market is flooded with such kind of books and I was sick of it. Just as I was about to dismiss it off with a similar dislike, I turned over to a page that focuses on improving one’s relationships. The author has written such amazing stuff that makes sense perfectly in a way that blends philosophy, science and emotions. And the language was so simple that it made me start flipping pages so quickly before I knew it was almost time for me to leave. I so wanted to buy the book desperately but couldn’t as I was short of money. Later when I came back to my room I googled about it and came to know that it was a bestseller. I know it doesn’t make sense for me to write a book review even before I have read it, but I have never been so overwhelmed by reading just a few pages!!

PS – you never know... some secret admirer of mine will gift me this after reading the post !! :-P
Will be back soon!

Tears untraced

My life is going crashing down,
Falling into a bottomless pit.
All I can do is sit and frown…
How did I get into this load of shit??

For some I’m just either too slow
Not able to catch up,
For some I’m just too fast
Not easy to patch up.

Thoughts engulf upon my mind
Of hard times of deep troubles.
Drowning in them, I unwind;
May be I shouldn’t have burst the bubble

So here I am- left alone,
Anyone care to hear
Brooding myself to bemoan;
Someone please - wipe away my tear….


Where is my half??!!

There is supposedly a belief that every one of us are a part of one complete soul, and all through our life we are in a search for that soul mate of ours… the so called better (/bitter??!!) half . I have always believed in this concept. That was till one day one of my friend said “I ‘m better off alone” ….. hmmmm may be that was true. Is it… how could it be ?? I sat thinking and I have never really liked being alone at any time. In fact it’s kind of a phobia for me… does it have a name yet … I googled and yes it does… ‘Monophobia’. But obviously I was not in the extreme cases, because in acute conditions it seems the patient can’t even go to the loo without a companion!!! (huh disgusting .. not me plz) … k k now back to the topic … So I tried to ask myself again. Whenever I happened to spend time alone (sometimes forced upon me or I force it on myself) I get very depressed … it feels strange and helpless. I end up thinking of all the sad moments of life, the people I miss so much and end up crying. And sometimes I get too philosophical and trying to make myself feel better I say that ‘Solitude is bliss’ and more such crap. Beyond a point it gets unbearable for me and I rush back to being in the company of the people and the maddening world. And sometimes even the company of strangers is fine for me!! So I just can’t be alone… and I thought that if I had my found my ‘soul mate’ by now I wouldn’t have even had to face all this. That doesn’t mean that I would expect him to be around me all the time. I would be satisfied by the mere presence somewhere far away. Filling my mind with his thought and feel happy that you are there in his thoughts too!! All these simple pleasures of life are so beautiful. Every one of us definitely needs it and I don’t want anyone to miss all this in life… by fearing about something that may have happened in the past. Each of us are blessed with abundance of love only to share it with your ‘the ONE’. Only then the life is complete!!
So for all those who are lucky enough to have found that special person already… am really happy for you!! And others like me… have hope and keep looking. You never know when you are going to meet them!! Happy searching !!


For me ... for ONLY me

About 6 months back i remember talking with my friend over phone on a particularly emotional day. I had fought with someone and made myself all disappointed and depressed. ( Now when i think there was actually no big problem!! ) I felt very down and lonely all day, not even having anyone to share my feelings with. And i asked him, my voice choking with tears, ... " Can i ever have someone just for me?? .. who will be there with me .. with ONLY me always .. Is it wrong to to even wish for someone like that in my life ??.... "

My friend who was just so helplessly trying to console me said that there will definitely be such a person in my life and it is just that i need to wait. From that time until now there has been countless times that the same question keeps coming back to my mind... every time i am emotionally disturbed i quickly kind of go into a shell and feel very depressed about it. And i keep longing for that ONE who will be there with me always. I don't really mean that this person necessarily has to be one's life partner; it could be anyone - your friend, brother, sister or anyone who will be there for you ... for ONLY you!!

But is this ever possible at all;each of has have our own lives to lead and whether we will have the time to genuinely be with that someone when its needed the most....To all these questions i found the answer in the words of Swami Vivekananda, which my friend told me.

" Unconditional love is like a drop of water in the palm. The longer you hold the palm open and let the drop float free, the longer it stays. The moment you try to cover it up and possess it, its lost. "

So that was the answer - unconditional love!! every time i was looking to be dependent on one person i was being so possessive about them. Did i stop loving them just because they weren't there for me at sometimes... NO definitely not !!
I was so narrow minded and looking for only person when i failed to see that how many people filled that role and cared equally for me as i would have wanted. The love and care of each of these persons is like that precious drop of water in my hands. Every time i had that drop i got too excited and the fear of losing it took over me, so i would try to close my hands to make it mine .. ONLY mine!! But i realised that leaving my hands open has let so many drops collect in my hands increasing my happiness.

Let it remain open ... not just your hands but your heart too... and those tiny drops will come looking for you to fill you with limitless joy !!!


Priceless ... but worth it truly

It happens often that we don't realise the worth of things when they are readily available for us. We are not able to truly value it and understand how precious it might be. It could be for as basic and abstract things like land, water or air. For a transatlantic swimmer who is swimming against the strong currents battling the forceful waves for hours together, the first sight of land gives him the first hint of success. Imagine in the case of a person who is travelling through the desert, where all he can see is miles and miles of stretch of the golden sand; the last drop of water remaining with him that is going to help him survive is priceless !!!

Only in such cases one is able to gauge the worth of the thing which we take for granted. Similarly we need to realise the worth of people around us; without whom our lives would have been very difficult and may be unimaginable too. But we might not give them their due or treat them the way they should have been. And when they are no longer a part of our lives, we suddenly feel the void in our lives. And a feeling or regret engulfs us which makes us feel guilty - "if only i could have told them atleast once how much they meant to me."

i am sure all of us have someone of this kind in our lives... and if you haven't yet told them about how important they are to you, i would sincerely request you to do soon..... before it is too late !!

MUMBAI - The true metro !!

You must have obviously guessed that this post is about the time I spent in that lovely city. But why should I say it as the “true” metro…. Having myself grown up in Chennai my entire life?? Though I haven’t visited the other so called metros of this country…Friends trust me, this wonderful city is the only one which fits the definition of a metropolis – a large city with an urbanized culture.

Though I spent just 2 months in this beautiful place, I had one experience of a lifetime. Hmmm…did I just say beautiful?? that too Mumbai !! As soon as one mentions the name of this place, the images that come to the mind of many are the ever-expanding filthy slums (Especially after the resounding success of Slumdog millionaire). Yes I did see parts of that too … just a glimpse may be. But I don’t wish to associate this city with just that. After all, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder!! The first view of this city, as I was proceeding from the station to the hotel, left me in awe… the broad clean roads (of course minus the traffic), huge flyovers… and the ride across the Thane creek as the sun was just rising above the mountains was so special. One thing I thought was absolutely true; the Mother Nature has blessed every place with her abundance, if only you care to look.

Moving onto the actual city life… there is only word to describe it best – SPEED!! Some might say that’s how life is in every city, but here it is in its most superlative form. OMG, I can’t say how restless people are moving around here, always running after something. I actually kinda like it because even on a day when you are feeling a bit low, the city’s vibes fill you with so much energy and enthusiasm. The malls here are the biggest I have ever seen. What you find in Chennai are some micro-mini attempts to re-create something of that sort. You can find every international brand that exists on earth in those malls. Speaking of brands, if you are the person who is not so brand-conscious (like me, not because it’s a philosophy I follow but because I don’t know any brands to really follow :-P) …. For such people also Mumbai is the place to be. You can spend endless hours doing street shopping. But I couldn’t because of the rains. Oh, speaking of the monsoons… so many people told me it’s the best time of the year in this city. I too just had a glimpse of it. It’s amazing to see how this city prepares itself for the rains. They give a totally new look and feel to the whole place, making one fall in love with it.

It would be completely unfair if I fail to say about the suburban train transport, which is the lifeline holding this huge city in place. It is a nice experience to travel in those crowded trains, dodging your way through. When you have to get down you just have stand near the doors and the crowd will carry you out (that was no exaggeration please) !!! I really loved every place I went around in this city. It still carries the reminiscences of the colonial rule in some parts but vibrates with the modern trends in other places. The perfect co-existence of such contrasts is what makes this city so exciting. That’s Mumbai for you – an enlivening experience.
Yeh hai MUMBAI meri jaan!!!

PS – I might have missed out a lot of vital things which the localities will know better. But I am no expert in writing a travelogue. Besides 2 months is hardly a time to know about this wonderful city.


Love of your loved ones

Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it

The first line probably doesn't make much sense now, but i am sure it will when you have finished reading this post.

In any of the relationships i have had till now, its never been that the other person has been expressive about their love and care. I am generally a very frank and expressive person and so initially it was really difficult for me to understand people around me - my parents, my friends and everyone else... i would never be able to feel the other person's affection for me and i would be upset about it. I always used to feel very bad that when i could show my love and care for someone, why am not it getting it back from anyone??? I used to doubt whether they truly like me or not... why is it that i was left to feel so lonely all the time???

I used to console myself that may be i was just meant to brood over it this way and i could not come out of it. Sometimes i got very angry but that did not help. It just made things worse and i was almost going to lose one of my dear friends. Even after that i never realised what is the mistake. But later on the truth dawned upon me .... since i was always on the look out for the visible signs of care i failed to see those invisible ones which always existed. In every small thing that the other person does for you the affection is there. Every moment in which you just exist in their thoughts, it means they LOVE you. Each and every person's emotional feelings and the way they express it is very different. We have to accept this and once this sinks in, you can feel the love the person has for you even when they don't say it.The immense joy and happiness this feeling will bring you is truly indescribable. I have felt it and i hope each of you will feel it definitely one day if you haven't already!!


Ripple effect !!

When you throw a stone into a still pond, the ripples that it creates brings some movement and life back into that place. Similarly an idle mind is kindled by some discussion or argument one has, which sets the thought process going....
this post is a realization because of my thoughts that was set into motion by my loving bro!!

i happened to discuss with him about how you think that, a person is doing something for you but in the end you realise they were doing it for their personal benefits. How 'selfish' they had been and you have been ignorant of it all the while... you feel hurt when you come to know of it in the end. But he questioned me back saying, " Who in this world is not selfish?? Everyone always does something because they are getting something out of it." Initially i thought he was talking about it in the sense that, How we often say of the present world where people are driven by material gains and fail to give importance to human values and emotions.

But he said that its not just got to do with such kind of people alone. But that's how EVERYONE are !!! I was a little perplexed. i din't quite understand what he meant by that. I couldn't imagine how everyone could be selfish. Isn't that supposed to be a not so good virtue, that we have been taught from our childhood, in our so called 'moral science' classes !! then how it could be possible that there is not one person in this world who does something for others. To add further to my confusion he said, there is no such word called "selflessness" !!! it is a farce.. just doesn't exist....

This actually enraged me and and i hit him back strongly, this is definitely not true. Then there is no meaning for the works done by great people like Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa. I was arguing that he was wrong. But he just calmly replied "think about it !! " and left. This set an intellectual (!!??) search and the discovery of the truth in the end was really pleasant. I realised that behind every act of a man there is some personal motive that one wants to achieve. It is like in Maslow's hierachy of needs - especially the higher order needs. ( C'mon people i am a management student !! :-P )We seek personal satisfaction in everything we do and there is nothing wrong in it. Its the same with even Mother Teresa. I am not trying to undermine her greatness. She did serve countless poor and homeless people. But she did that because she derived personal satisfaction out of it. So there is definitely nothing wrong in doing something for yourself.

But the difference lies in the aspect that, when one tries to achieve something at the cost of someone's efforts or life. This is where it crosses limits and turns bad. So behind every act of a human, if you look deep inside, you can find the real motive that he is trying to satisfy. In the end the act doesn't count but the thought matters !!!

Ripples to be continued ......

Everlasting truths.....

Sometimes you may get insecure in a relationship. It is only because of letting fear into the relationship. When fear comes in place of trust, everything else is shaken. Every situation can be seen from both a negative and positive perspectives. And when you constantly see only the negative view, thats when the demon of fear and doubt creeps in, weakening the very base of the relationship. You fear that you lose the relationship and being constantly in that worry you forget to enjoy the present moment you have got to spend with them ....

Whenever you get such doubts drive it away with that one word which is the only reason we are still sticking onto this world filled with evils - HOPE !!
Just hope that things will get better
Just hope that the dawn that awaits will bring with it happiness and peace
Just hope that your relationship is going to last forever....

Drive away the demon of fear with FAITH !!
You can call it in any name; be it trust or belief...its power is really immense. You will be able to appreciate it best only when you have felt it. The wonders that unquestioning faith which one places in a person or on the relationship is amazing. It can carry it through any sea of troubles.

And above all this ....

There are in the end three things that last...
Faith, Hope and Love
And the greatest of these


What hope and faith cant get you, definitely Love can !!!
The purest of love will bring with it an intense emotional attachment with the other person which will forever forge the bonds of the relationship so strong and make it unbreakable for eternity..........


Words are definitely powerful... but not stronger than the human mind !!!

Retold from The Alchemist ....
" the Arab alchemist who was drinking wine, offered some to the protagonist... He asks him 'isnt wine prohibited in your country ?' (as per their religion)....the alchemist replies...
'its not what goes into the mouth which is evil .. but what comes out' ... "

How true can that be .. even when i read those lines for the first time ... the reality and depth of the meaning struck me hard..because this society thinks ill of those who drink(/smoke??!!) ... but the truth is that there may be much more better and well behaved gentlemen (women??!!) among them....

i have myself seen people who speak such ill of others in a way which is so demeaning. they spew out venom - the most poisonous of all one could find in this world - when they speak. The words are spoken so that to deliberately humiliate or disrespect the other person...

But i truly believe that every emotion one faces in life is something which only you control entirely... be it anything like happiness, sadness, guilt, shame, dishonour, anger, satisfaction, humiliation.....All of this is something which people always complain or attribute to something external, like for eg:what someone says/does hurts you sometimes, something happens which makes you happy...
but the truth is that more often people(including me !!) fail to realise that it is you who decide everything in your life... if you decided that you are not going to be disturbed by whatever happens around you; your not going to get hurt/angry; even when the other person does it intentionally/unintentionally !!!!

This is one such irony in life - where you think everything that happens to you is 'cause of what happens outside but the reality is that the control lies entirely in your hands ... when you get this realisation about life you can get that true peace in your heart!!!

There are many such ironies that are filled in this world around us and this is what i am going to explore in my next post ... look out for it !!!!


Irony(ies) of life !!!

In one of the lectures when i was sitting and idling around, not listening ( which happens often !!)... i decided that i will write my next blog on this topic "Irony of life"... And i just wrote this on my note book, when my friend who was sitting next to me wrote the best lines possible which will very aptly form the beginning of this blog!!!

The irony of life is that ... " You have to live through life through it to know about it ... But the day you learn about your life is the day your life ends :-) "

I cant tell you the feeling when i read those lines !! so amazingly true....
and i suddenly decided to explore many such ironies that are filled in the world around us. With a lot of inputs from various sources... here s what i have come up with ....

* Every time when you are doomed by difficulties and failures.. you turn to God and cry " why me ?? " .... but why is that we never do the same when we are in the most happiest of moments ?? !!

* Only a loser in any game would say that ...'participating is more important than winning' but never a winner !!!

* when you keep chasing something you never get it ... but just when you stop focussing on it, it starts chasing you !!

* The more we feel we are in control of things, the farther off we are from controlling anything..

* Battles that go on longer than necessary end up destroying the enthusiasm necessary for later reconstruction.

* Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

* You need to think more, not to answer a question, but to ask one.

* life will always teach u lessons through 3 ways - disappointment, despair and defeat

ps - this is obviously not an exhaustive one ... friends are welcome to add more !!

Crazy mind

Sometimes what our loved ones do might really hurt us .. but it was never intentional on their part too.. Even though you know about it you are not able to forgive them and move on... Our heart sticks onto such bad memories very easily but fails to remember the good ones...Why is this so ???

Situational interpretations of some thing which might otherwise have been perfectly normal really make us feel bad... At that moment if we lose our temper and say something which we may repent later..its the worse thing that can happen to anyone ...

Words are like arrows .. once it leaves the bow it can't be take back !!

Often i feel as though i am caught entangled in a web of emotions.. not able to relish any of them fully...all of us wish and pray for more happier moments in life.. but i am caught thinking only about any problem or disagreement that might arise which might hurt me more...
am i confusing myself ???

If you have something bitter and then immediately have something sweet ... you tend to feel as though the sweetness has increased and as if it melts in your mouth. This is exactly the essence of life. When we are surrounded by miseries the smallest smile that someone can bring on your face is of such great help that you start valuing it so much !!!

The true feeling of happiness is realised only among the disappointments in life.... Similarly the importance of life is only because of death ... people often say that they want to do something purposeful before they die. Life itself has a meaning only because of death.
Death once said " I will touch you, but you don't know when...therefore live life as intensely as you can"


(ps - from what i actually started writing about, never did i think i ll be finishing it with such philosophical thoughts.. thats exactly 'cause of my really really crazy mind !!! )

LOVE ......

This one word captures the essence in every relationship . This is one emotion or feeling which is more powerful than all positive emotions and is it so strong that it can overcome any negative feelings in your heart . It doesn't even have to be mutual ... And that's the whole beauty of it !!!

when a person you love may do things you don't like... may not care the same way as you do for them... may hate you, but you still have the same affection for them , and that's when you have true love for them...
And that's why its the purest of all emotions...the way to GOD !!

Only the person who is so true at heart can experience the joy and happiness when being in love . U know why they say - I "fell" in love....because when in love you may go down to actually hold the person you love, high up ...
But it is more than just sacrifice. It is embedded in every aspect of life.

Love is not a part of life... Love is life


i am possessive

Some time recently i happened to have an argument with a friend that, i am being possessive... i was trying to justify my point .. and while thinking about it i happened to remember a poem which i had written some time back... though it doesn't relate much to the incident now....

This is dedicated to one of my most lovely friends that i have ever had !!

Pushing through the portals I came
Overlooking the countless stream of people
Searching for that one face,
Sinking into my heavy heart.
Enthralled by your endless talks and tales,
Seems like you were a gift.
Spiraling thoughts surround me
Imagining the life without you;
Venting my feelings I disclose
Engraved upon me is your memory…

Yes!!! I ‘m possessive of you…


Ignorance is Bliss !!!

Some time back i read about solitude being bliss ... so i just tried it out and i kinda really enjoyed that ... sitting all alone in the midst of nature... worrying about nothing in life...and only during that time i got this thought also in my mind..

you always would be better off not knowing about somethings in life...am i talking of all the bad things that happen to us ?? people who are more into philosophy (like me!!) would say that life is both sweet and bitter.. and it has to be that way for it to be balanced...I completely agree with that...then you must be wondering what am i talking about ???

it is just about that ... in some relationships you care so much about some one and you think they do the same about you ... you keep thinking about them all the time,wondering they would about you too.. you are there in a place enjoying their company thinking that they also do !!

But when reality strikes it is pretty hard...all the things what you thought are just assumptions and truth is something different!!! its like you were not a part of their life.. you have always been around where you were never wanted ...and when you come to know of it all your emotions just shatters and rips you apart !!

And thats when you realise that ... wouldnt it have been much better to live with those lies.. to live in that false world with all your assumptions which atleast made you happy...

Truly... Ignorance is Bliss !!!!