About 6 months back i remember talking with my friend over phone on a particularly emotional day. I had fought with someone and made myself all disappointed and depressed. ( Now when i think there was actually no big problem!! ) I felt very down and lonely all day, not even having anyone to share my feelings with. And i asked him, my voice choking with tears, ... " Can i ever have someone just for me?? .. who will be there with me .. with ONLY me always .. Is it wrong to to even wish for someone like that in my life ??.... "
My friend who was just so helplessly trying to console me said that there will definitely be such a person in my life and it is just that i need to wait. From that time until now there has been countless times that the same question keeps coming back to my mind... every time i am emotionally disturbed i quickly kind of go into a shell and feel very depressed about it. And i keep longing for that ONE who will be there with me always. I don't really mean that this person necessarily has to be one's life partner; it could be anyone - your friend, brother, sister or anyone who will be there for you ... for ONLY you!!
But is this ever possible at all;each of has have our own lives to lead and whether we will have the time to genuinely be with that someone when its needed the most....To all these questions i found the answer in the words of Swami Vivekananda, which my friend told me.
" Unconditional love is like a drop of water in the palm. The longer you hold the palm open and let the drop float free, the longer it stays. The moment you try to cover it up and possess it, its lost. "
So that was the answer - unconditional love!! every time i was looking to be dependent on one person i was being so possessive about them. Did i stop loving them just because they weren't there for me at sometimes... NO definitely not !!
I was so narrow minded and looking for only person when i failed to see that how many people filled that role and cared equally for me as i would have wanted. The love and care of each of these persons is like that precious drop of water in my hands. Every time i had that drop i got too excited and the fear of losing it took over me, so i would try to close my hands to make it mine .. ONLY mine!! But i realised that leaving my hands open has let so many drops collect in my hands increasing my happiness.
Let it remain open ... not just your hands but your heart too... and those tiny drops will come looking for you to fill you with limitless joy !!!